All too often I find myself defending my choice to compete in pageants against narrow-minded people who point blank refuse to make the effort to see past the stereotype. I know I’m not the only one in this position and, sadly, it’s not just strangers that have this view. More often than not, this type of negativity often comes from friends, family and partners. I’ve actually found that in my own life, the most enthusiastic people outside of the pageant industry are actually my co-workers! I find that people who had no idea our little world was a real thing and/or as accessible as it is are actually really excited to hear all about it, want to hear your stories and give you all the luck ahead of competition weekend. It’s a lovely thing, but it can also leave you feeling slightly disheartened if you are one of those who then has to wonder why you don’t receive the same level of enthusiasm from your close friends, partner or family.
Pageantry is an industry that we pour our hearts and souls into. We work tirelessly, raise thousands and do it all for the hell of it essentially because, in the UK, it’s not a paid gig. This is something that we do for the love of it and eventually it becomes part of who we are.
Some of the things that I, personally have heard in my time competing are ‘Congratulations, you can walk in a straight line’, ‘When will you grow up’, ‘I thought you were done with that pageant shite’, ‘You’re waste so much money on this rubbish’, ‘people don’t actually care, you know’, ‘it’s not like you can make a career out of it, what’s the point’? Well I’ll tell you the point. Aside from the fact that I absolutely love competing (and who doesn’t want to fill their time doing something that they love?) and I have met some of my best friends and future bridesmaids through pageantry; we actually do a lot of good for our communities and charities on a national and international level.
Over the past 4 years, UK pageantry alone has raised a minimum of £897,880 for various charities. I say minimum because this total only includes about 8 or 10 systems worth of charity totals. The organisation I compete under has SINGLE-HANDEDLY funded the Proton Beam Therapy unit at The Christie cancer centre in Manchester. The only one of its kind in the UK. Pageantry is literally helping save lives!
Let’s address some of those other comments, shall we? ‘Congratulations, you can walk in a straight line’ – YES! Yes I can! I can also do it in 6 inch heels, in a gown that weighs about 6kg, nervous as hell, in front of 300 people and 8 judges all while making it look elegant and effortless. It’s not about walking in a straight line, it’s about demonstrating a calm, poised presence. What you present on the stage should be an outward expression of how you are going to convey yourself as a Queen. It’s the old swan analogy; you should appear serene and elegant despite that fact that from the minute you received your regional title you’ve been paddling like mad under the surface. Everyone hits that stage wanting to win, no matter how much you’ve convinced yourself that you’re “just there for the experience” or whether you believe you can or not. The stage portion of the competition is to present your best self to the judges and to prove to them that you can conduct yourself with grace as well as be a hard worker as you demonstrated in interview – that part that pageant haters don’t like to talk about. Yeh, you know, the bit where your hard work, stellar personality, eloquence and communication skills are taken into account.
‘Why do you need a bikini section, it’s demeaning’ – NO IT’S NOT! I, for one, LOVE the swimwear round. I look at it as my chance to really prove my confidence because you literally have nothing to hide behind. We all know I’m no mad gym bunny but I still give it my all and find it a total adrenaline rush. Like your favourite roller coaster. It is, however, an amazing way for the girls who do love a good gym sesh to show off their hard work and, let’s be honest, bikinis are far cuter than some sports wear out there. I will never understand the concept of people thinking that wearing a bikini is “demeaning”. Why? Because it’s on a stage? What’s the difference between wearing one on a stage and wearing one by the pool? I can guarantee you’re getting judged far more negatively by the other girls at the pool than you ever will be on a pageant stage. As a judge, what I look for during the bikini round in someone who is unphased, someone who knows her worth and shows it, someone who looks like they are having the best time and makes me smile with them. I couldn’t care less what your body looks like, for me it’s how you rock it!
It riles me when people who have absolutely zero intention to attend a pageant or make any effort to understand them feel that they are perfectly within their right to tell us why our choice of hobby is wrong. Would you criticise a disco dancer or cheerleader for competing despite there being no further career once their competition days end? Would you criticise a golfer because hours knocking a ball into a hole in the ground is boring to you and you don’t get it? Would you criticise your granny for going to then bingo coz she spends loads on it but never wins so you think it’s a waste of money? Probably not because none of the above affects you and you respect that dancers, golfers and bingo playing grannies love to dance, golf and play bingo! Hobbies are just that, we do this for fun. As pageant girls though, we actually do some good for the wider community along the way which is more than can be said for the majority of hobbies out there.
You don’t need to get it, you don’t, but you absolutely should respect the fact that we do and it’s our world; even more so if there’s someone in your life who does compete. Support them, cheer for them, encourage them. One of the most hurtful things is being ridiculed for something that you pour your heart and soul into; and the last people that should be coming from are the ones that should be your biggest cheerleaders.
Pageant girls have their fingers in so many pies. Name a charity, we’ve raised for them. Name a cause, there’s a pageant girl somewhere who has campaigned for them. I’ve never met a more active group of empowering women who go out of their way to shine a spotlight on so many issues and gaps in society, but then also go a step further and work to rectify or help. We are not a bunch of self-indulgent, superficial airheads. We are a worldwide sisterhood of smart, strong, driven, inspiring, innovative and passionate women who, in the words of Gracie Hart, “are just trying to make a difference in the world and we’ve become really good friends”.
If you have a negative opinion but have never tried to get involved then before you judge, I defy you to attend or, better yet, compete in a national pageant and then you can have your say on this world we love. If you have someone in you’re life who does compete but your opinion is less than supportive, I ask you to think of something that you love to do in your spare time, something that has helped shape you. Take that and then imagine someone you love ripping it to bits because they “don’t get it”. How would that make you feel? No one is asking you to fully understand, we’re just asking you to be supportive. Come and cheer us on. Scream for us from the crowd because you don’t want to be the reason that someone feels silly for doing the thing that they love, do you?
